#it’s bigger. scarier. locking me into a life path I don’t want to go down
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Whyyyyy is getting myself out of a pre spiralling state so much harder than an actual spiral
Like when I’m already at my lowest I can eventually go “alright, enough crying you useless dishrag, there’s shit that needs to be done, go wash up and then eat or god help me–”
But when I’m only at the point where my anxiety is still brewing and the thoughts are still mostly quiet, getting up is like wading through molasses, like my brain wants me to keep rotting away in bed until I do end up spiralling. I’ve been awake for almost 3 hours and haven’t even gone to the bathroom yet, and no matter how much I try to distract myself because I really, really don’t want to have a breakdown today, I can think of nothing else but how terrified I am. It’s all consuming and I just can’t stop…
#I need time to freeze. for a year at least#I’m not ready yet. I’m not#I can’t handle it. I can barely go outside without feeling impossibly out of place. like I’m being judged by everyone#even though I know they aren’t#how the fuck am I going to survive four years of college. how#maybe it would be easier if I had some form of emotional support but I don’t#my family doesn’t care and my friends won’t be there#I don’t have anyone#only so many people who tell me nothing but that I’m exaggerating and need to stop being such a wuss#or that I need mood stabilisers and a mental hospital#maybe I just need someone to hold my hand like I’m a child again#or to be held as I cry through it without being ridiculed#or just.. a chance at some other life where I wouldn’t be… what I am#and wouldn’t have to slave away for a degree I’ll hate for a job I won’t be able to handle#what a miserable existence that sounds like…#and because I’m aspec in literally every manner possible I won’t even have people who could brighten it up#because I don’t want them. because I’m so averse the thought of making friends makes me sick#but how can someone be so averse and yet so lonely at the same time?#I can’t be both at the same time. it becomes a loop. a cycle. one building off the other#with no chance of escape#I… I really don’t know if I’ll make it this time#I somehow managed to finish school by some goddamned miracle. this.. is something completely different#it’s bigger. scarier. locking me into a life path I don’t want to go down#a life I barely even want to live#…….#I should go try to eat something#that might.. do something to help me refocus on smth else. at least for a little while#if I manage to get up. that is
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Rage Awakened (7)
A little shorter this time :/
@chachacharlieco @violetstar-writes
--
Not long after Tarzan had run off to find Sora had he returned, his face thoughtful. “Upset,” he explained. “Needs alone time.”
Kairi almost wondered if it would be good for her to go after him instead, but she decided to heed his request.
Terra was right. The keyhole must be sealed.
They made it to the waterfalls before noon, which was a great thing, considering how massive they were.
“Should have brought our bathing suits.” Ventus commented, looking over the edge of the cliff and down into the river below.
“No time for a swim, I’m afraid. Let’s get to work.” Aqua reprimanded.
“Where do you think it is?”
Riku snorted. “Well, if you ever played a Zelda game, you would know there’s always something good behind the waterfall.”
“Yeah, but this isn’t a video game.” Replied Terra. He summoned his keyblade, pointing it out the waterfall. “Hmm, it’s not out here though.”
“It’s not a dosing rod,” Riku scoffed. “It’s not just going to pop up like that.”
“Okay Mr. Master-for-a-year, how do you think we should find it?”
Kairi broke off from the group as they argued, examining the face of the cliff where the waterfall began. It was about 80 feet up, at a 90 degree angle. If they wanted to get up to the top, they would have to find another way.
Then she glanced down, her eyes widening as she spotted a cave mouth, and a narrow path to it. “Let’s check down there!” She shouted back.
Everyone hurried over to see where she was pointing.
“Ooh, good eye, Kai!”
She grinned.
“What did I tell you? Behind the waterfall.” Riku gloated.
“Yeah, you can rub it in when we find it.”
The cave mouth ran the length of the waterfall, one wall just being solid water. Eventually, the small path opened up into a wide wall of ledges and caverns.
“Well...guess we explore.” Riku stated, looking for footholds in the rock. “Everything is wet, so be careful.”
“That’s what she said,” muttered Ventus, before getting elbowed in the gut.
They spread out, climbing their way up the rock face and traveling down short tunnels to dead ends. “There’s nothing here!” Whined Ventus laying on a ledge, “Not even any treasure!”
“Just keep looking,” Aqua tried to motivate. “The cavern is big.”
Jane, of all people, had made it her personal mission to scale the wall up the the top of the cavern. It had taken some time, but once she made it, she called down from above. “I think I found it! This cave runs deeper than the others!”
Using her instructions, everyone made their way up to her, and found themselves standing at the entrance to a much bigger, much darker tunnel than the others.
“Well?”
“Kinda scary.” Kairi admitted.
“Scarier than fighting heartless in a graveyard?” Riku mentioned with a snicker.
“No, that was the worst. Thanks for reminding me.”
With that, they delved deeper into the caves.
“It’s creepy,” Commented Ventus, agreeing with Kairi. “I’m expecting some nasties to just pop up.”
“Oh don’t say that Ven!”
Finally, the tunnel spilled out into a large room, with an open ceiling. An ancient looking tree stood directly ahead of them, covered in vines and glowing blue butterflies.
But more astoundingly, there was Sora, looking pissed to high hell.
“Sora’s spot! Secret place!” He looked ready to fight. “Leave!”
“We’re not here to hurt you,” Riku said, taking a step towards him. “You remember me? Riku? Riku friend?”
Sora relaxed slightly. “Like Riku.” He agreed.
“And Riku like Sora. Riku also likes Terra, Aqua, and Ventus.”
They were making progress. Sora wasn’t growling at their names now.
But it still unbelievably painful for Aqua, who did her damndest to get ahold of her emotions. “Sora...you know we would never hurt you. This...this was an accident, and I’m so so sorry.”
Sora wasn’t so eager to accept her apology. He huffed angrily.
“Why never come? Come for Sora?”
It was just as she feared. “We didn’t know you were here!”
“Last place was! Never left!”
“We looked for you for three days!” She insisted, tears freely flowing.
“Look for Keyhole much longer...” he muttered.
It was a low blow, attacking their sense of duty.
“Please Sora. We made a mistake. If there had been any inkling that you were safe, we would have kept looking, but...there was just...nothing. Please, we have missed you so so much and we want you to come home!” She stepped forward, her arms open wide. “Please...”
He crawled backwards, closer to the tree, startling the butterflies. “Too late. No saving Sora.”
“No saving...?” Aqua whispered. “You mean the creature hunting you?”
He didn’t respond.
The butterflies caught Kairi’s attention, and she saw what others didn’t. Carefully, she stepped closer to him. “Sora...” she said soothingly.
Her voice got through to him, and he looked at her, pleading her to take his side.
“Do you remember why we came?”
“Keyhole.” He said simply.
���That’s right, and you found it!”
He cocked his head slightly, then looked over his shoulder.
The butterflies had fluttered out of the way, revealing a keyhole in the middle of the tree.
“Will you help me close it?” She asked, summoning her keyblade.
He nodded, crawling towards her and placing his hand upon hers on the hilt. A beam shot out and entered the keyhole, locking the world.
Finally, their job was done.
Sora looked up to Kairi, sadly. “Leaving?”
“Not without you,” she insisted, resting a hand in his shoulder.
He shook his head, extracting himself from her touch. “Don’t belong. Not safe.”
“Of course you belong with us, Sora.” Aqua added. “We’re your family.”
It seemed the conversation would have to be continued another time. Jane shouted out in surprise as a shadow appeared from the entrance of the cave. The same cat as before, with an attitude to boot.
Tarzan grabbed Jane and pulled her behind him.
“Guard!” Aqua called, summoning a barrier.
Before it connected to the ground, Sora slid across the ground and got between them and the cat, the barrier closing behind him.
“No!” Cried Kairi.
“Drop the barrier, Aqua!” Ventus begged. “He can’t be out there alone!”
But before she could even do anything, Sora summoned his keyblade, in all of its horror.
Riku looked sick at the sight.
The cat leapt, ready to attack. Everyone cried out in protest, all afraid to lose him after finally finding him.
But surprisingly, Sora stood against the attack. The claw-like tendrils on the keyblade came to life, stretching and swiping at the cat, piercing its hide, and tearing it asunder. Like teeth, the keyblade devoured the creature, even its essence, until there was nothing left.
Sora panted once it was all over, and then fell to his knees.
“Sora!” Cried Kairi.
Aqua dropped the barrier instantly, running to him.
He coughed and heaved, like he was going to become sick, but he kept swallowing it back instead.
Finally, he passed into unconsciousness.
“What the hell was that?!” Terra yelled. “I’ve never seen a keyblade do that!”
“I don’t think they’re supposed to.” Said Aqua, checking his vitals. “Something is very wrong with his heart. That’s why his keyblade looked like that.”
“Well, at least he’s free from being hunted now.” Riku noted.
Tarzan grunted, drawing their attention. “Leopard not hunter. Not first to attack him.”
“Wait wait wait,” Terra spoke up, “are you saying that there have been other beasts like this after him?”
“Many. Come from one.”
Resolved, Aqua turned Sora over on his back. “I know we shouldn’t force him to do anything, but at this point, we have choice. We have to bring him home. Maybe Master Eraqus or Yen Sid...or even Ansem the Wise could help him. And he’s not safe here.”
Terra agreed and stooped to pick him up.
Jane spoke up. “I’m sorry we’ll be parting like this, but thank you for all your help.”
“It’s our job!” Ventus said a little proudly.
“We’ll definitely come to visit. I’m sure or Master will want to investigate this creature a little more. We can even bring you stuff you miss from London.”
“That would be marvelous! Now you better get a move on! I hope you the best!”
—
Sora thankfully stayed asleep the whole trip back. They loaded him on the ship first while the boys got to work dismantling the camp. His breathing was harsh, but he did not stir.
Kairi knelt by his side, as he laid on the floor, a blanket under him.
“You okay?” Aqua asked, seeing her face wrinkled with concern.
“I’m just...confused. Mostly worried, but...Sora himself is easy to read, but there so much mystery involving him...it’s hard to think.”
“I understand.” Aqua sat next to her. “I’m sorry we didn’t tell you guys about him earlier but...we really thought he was gone forever.”
“I don’t hold it against you. But still...”
“Yeah...”
“You know...last night, Sora and I talked over dinner. He mentioned he remembered me from Radiant Garden. You guys visited when I was little?”
“Yeah, pretty often. Though, usually Master Eraqus, Terra, and I would talk with Ansem the Wise, while Sora played in the courtyard, under the observation of the guard, of course.
Kairi smiles softly. “I love the courtyard. My grandma used to take me there a lot. I bet I did know him back then.”
“Did you explain that you lost your memory?”
“Yeah. He was sad about it, but I’m sure we’ll make new memories.”
Aqua hummed in agreement, her gaze going back to Sora. “In fact...if there truly is darkness stirring in his heart, it’s probably best that he’s around you. You’ll help him heal, right?”
She smiled softly. “Yeah, Sora’s safe with me.”
—
Radiant Garden.
Or what it once was.
In just the span of 24 hours, the heartless army had decimated the town. Those that hadn’t turned into heartless had fled anyway possible. Shoddy gummi ships took off towards Traverse Town, jammed packed full of civilians. The walls to the fountains broke, and water flooded in, flowing backwards from the overwhelming influence of the darkness.
A witch in a black robe paced the hall in the chapel, contemplating the changes she’d make to the castle.
“Radiant Garden’s Castle, just as promised.” Her visitor said.
“My my, when you said you’d get it for me, I didn’t believe you’d actually do it. Though, you seem much more capable to achieve your goals than I first imagined. This seemed like a walk in the park for you.”
“It may have looked effortless, but it was no small feat. This world is fiercely guarded by its people and warriors of the keyblade.”
“Then why bother with it at all, if it was so full of light?”
The other hummed, “this world is unique. Its keyhole is incomplete, and therefore, there is no way for it to fall to the darkness. In order for the keyhole to be complete, the seven Princesses of Heart must be assembled.”
“As you said before,” Maleficent drawled. “The objective you have given me to complete.”
“Correct. Three of the Princesses are here already, I sense them in the castle, hiding. The fourth will be brought here later this evening. Two more will be easy to find, and the last…the last would be difficult, but I have a plan for her.”
“And if I gather these princesses and reveal the keyhole, what then? Why should I even be listening to you?”
“Trust me, my dear. Once everything is in place, you shall know untold power. Not just over this world, but all worlds. Can I count on you, Mistress of Evil?”
Her smile was disgusting, filled with unspeakable evil. “Of course, there’s no one better for the job.”
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Angel
I write stories sometimes. Here’s one about a teenage avenging angel with a hopeless crush.
Emma Pearson walks to her locker, fiddles with the combination lock with one hand. The other balances her books, and she spares a second of concern for their state of balance. The boy beside her, Andrew-or-something, is talking loudly to his friends. She hears something that sounds suspiciously like the n-word coming from the knot of people, and anger roils in her stomach.
She puts her books away and grabs her lunch bag and her phone. Smiles as she reads the text her best friend Jessica sent her, and is responding when someone stalks past her.
They’re moving fast enough that she looks up in time to see a girl slam Andrew-or-something against the lockers, forearm at his neck. Someone lets out a gasp, and the whole hallway falls quiet.
“One of my friends said you cornered her in the stairwell yesterday,” she snarls. She’s bigger than Andrew-or-something, who is taller than average himself. There’s something strange about her, but Emma can’t figure out quite what. He babbles, and the girl shifts more of her weight so the forearm cuts off his air.
“Here’s your one warning - if you so much as look at another girl without her permission, I will find you. And I will hurt you.” And Emma realizes what’s strange about her - her shadow. Because in her shadow, the girl has wings, and a sword hanging off her waist. The wings are spread out, meters wide and folded like a bat’s.
Emma looks again, and there’s nothing.
“Do we understand each other?” the girl says, sunlight shining on her (in the windowless hallway, Emma will remember later, and decide it was a trick of her eyes). The boy is still trying to breathe. The girl shifts her arm back, and he nods.
“Good.” She knees him in the groin before she steps back. Andrew-or-something collapses on the floor, crying. She turns around to face the staring teenagers around her, and Emma recognizes her - it’s Simrit Rai, from geography. She sits hunched over near the back, making biting comments to the boys who sit in front of her and playing on her phone. This person with her hard face (like stone, like a statue of a queen - no, a general) is unidentifiable from that girl.
“It needed to be done,” Simrit says to no one in particular - or everyone. She walks back the way she came, and locks eyes with Emma. For a second, she falters, before she tears her eyes away and keeps going. Her shadow is completely normal.
Andrew-or-something is still crying. The hall is silent for a few more moments before chatter resumes and Emma goes to meet Jessica for lunch.
Simmi is trying not to look at Emma. This is not new.
What is new, however, is Emma looking at her.
She keeps stealing glances, scrutinizing her and then turning away when Simmi notices. (Or, at least, when Simmi reveals she notices - hyperaware of Emma as she is, it’s hard not to notice.)
Emma’s sweater is blue today. Her leggings are a dark gray that matches the headband in her long caramel-coloured hair. Her socks are two different colours, neon green and fire-engine red, which just makes her more adorable.
Simmi needs to get over this crush, and fast.
Emma says something that makes Jessica and the other girls around her laugh. Everyone likes Emma - she’s interesting and funny and her eyes are blue-green. Like an anime character, but white.
People like Simmi, too - she has a group of friends, ambitious and clever and hilarious girls she feels like she needs to protect (they’re so young. Everyone in this school is so young). Just not Emma, or at least, not in the way Simmi wants her to. Why would glorious, talented Emma like too big too dark too hairy Simmi, with the smelly lunch and parents who don’t let her wear short shorts.
Emma’s looking again. Simmi doesn’t have the energy to wonder why, and bends over her geography work.
Emma is wondering if she should talk to Simrit. About that thing she saw in the hallway, with the wings flapping and the sword sharp even in the shadow. Or even about how she pushed Andrew-or-something against the wall, ruthless and dangerous and feral.
No, not feral - controlled, like she knew exactly what she was doing. Which made it even scarier.
She flinches when she notices Simrit right there, squatting beside Jessica’s desk.
“Are you okay?” she asks Jessica, and Emma notices the signs of a panic attack building in Jessica’s face. (How did Simrit notice from all the way across the room?)
“Yeah - I just lost my bracelet,” Jessica says, sounding very not okay. Her hands are shaking and her voice sounds choked. Emma hugs her, then looks under the desk for if it might be there. Nothing. (She also looks at Simrit’s shadow. Normal.)
Simrit puts her hand on Jessica’s bicep. “Breathe,” she says. “You’re okay - we’ll find it.” She sounds so calming Emma has an urge to breathe as well. Jessica looks fine, and stunned by how fine she is. A panic attack stopped before it started is rare for her.
Simrit keeps her hand on her shoulder as she bends down to look on the floor. She emerges with something dangling from her fingers - Jess’s bracelet.
“Oh,” Jessica breathes. Emma stiffens, from where she’s still hugging her. She’d checked the floor earlier, and nothing was there. “Sorry,” Jess says.
Simrit shakes her head, stands up and places it on her desk. “You don’t have anything to apologize for,” she says. Her hand is still on Jess’s shoulder, only millimeters from Emma’s own hand. The second she realizes that, Simrit snatches her fingers away as though burned, sticking the hand in her pocket. She gives a lopsided smile, hollow, more horrible than nothing at all, and walks back to her desk.
She almost touched Emma. She almost touched Emma!
Emma, who looks at her right now, with the face she normally uses for a hard math problem (Simmi should not recognize that face. It’s creepy, and bad that she recognizes that face). She looks suspicious.
Could Emma know?
If Emma knew about Simmi’s massive crush, it would be horrible. She’d be freaked out, she’d hate Simmi. Simmi isn’t even hoping for anything (fantasizes about hugging Emma from behind, comfortable, and touching that glorious hair, but doesn’t dare to hope). Her parents might know she likes girls more than boys, but there’s a difference between knowing and having your daughter take home a girlfriend.
Also, Emma’s white. That wouldn’t work, not when so much of who Simmi is is based on her race, how sometimes she wants to scream and rage over white people, even when they haven’t done anything (more than they already had)(more than usual). Simmi has white friends who she loves as much as her own siblings, but a girlfriend - a girlfriend’s family - would be a different matter.
Emma is looking again, instead of doing her work. It’s not the look Simmi sends her, the look of how is she this perfect and beautiful. It’s not the look Simmi sends her friends sometimes, the look of I need to talk to you urgently. It’s something more like the look white kids used to send her at her old school, the look of what are you and can you hurt me.
Emma couldn’t know about her other secret, could she?
Emma’s walking home from school when she hears shouting coming from an alleyway near the bus station. She peers in, ready to run if she needs to. (Emma knows what it is to be a woman alone, especially when it’s almost dark. Emma has 911 cued up on her phone and her keys in her pocket, ready to be turned into a weapon. Emma has nightmares, sometimes, of a man following her. He doesn’t do anything, just trails after her, no matter how many times she crosses the street.)
There are two men inside - well, a man and a boy. The boy is cowering against the wall, and the man blocks the path out. Emma doesn’t know what he’s saying.
Emma’s hands are shaking as she grabs her phone to call 911. Should she shout, take the man’s attention away?
Before she can press the green button, someone drops into the alleyway. Drops, as in from the sky. The person - no, not person. Because it has wings, stretching to brush each side of the alleyway, bigger than the length of a car. It also carries a sword, gleaming blue-white. The sun shines on it, and it is beautiful and terrible and glorious.
And it is Simrit Rai from geography.
It says something to the man, and the man shouts back, refuses to back down. Emma is frozen.
Its manner is casual as it raises its sword. Cuts the man down where he’s standing, the blue-white light going through him until it pokes out through his stomach, pointing at Emma.
Emma screams as he collapses, and Simrit looks up, shouts “Fuck!” and takes two bounds forward, its wings expanding as Simrit shoots at her, that blue-white sword dripping a black tar-like goo.
She turns around and runs away from the creature and the man and the boy, heart hammering in her throat and tears of fear burning in her eyes.
Simmi inspects the white guy she slashed. He’s unconscious, unharmed. Not a scratch on him, though her sword drips with Evil.
That’s the name of the sludge that comes out of a person. Simmi isn’t idealistic enough to think that she’s curing his soul, making him better. The man was a racist when he woke up this morning, and will be when he goes to sleep tonight.
He’ll be fine, won’t even remember this. He’ll live an ignorant life, and hopefully she won’t see him again. Simmi doesn’t like to kill if she can help it - she’ll let him go. (She can’t always help it. So she tries to make the times when she can count.)
She helps the Filipino kid he was beating up onto his feet. Puts a hand on his head, heals his wounds and erases his memory. Sends him on his way.
There’s still the matter of Emma to deal with. She flaps up with her powerful dragon-wings (none of that feathered bullshit for her), perches on the roof of one of the buildings.
Emma’s still running, backpack bouncing behind her. Simmi’ll have to report a sighting. On the way home, someone will grab Emma and wipe her memory. She won’t remember this, although she’ll probably distrust Simmi for the rest of the time they know each other.
(The fear in her eyes as Emma looked at her - Simmi’s heart pangs in her chest.)
She’ll have to report the sighting soon. But for now, the avenging angel watches the sunlight make a halo out of Emma Pearson’s hair.
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EXCLUSIVE: 'Riverdale' Boss Reveals Why Was Shot in the Finale and Everything to Expect in Season 2!
Warning: Spoiler alert! Do not proceed if you haven’t watched Thursday’s season one finale of Riverdale!
Riverdale ended its first season with a bang on Thursday! Just as the town was unraveling the truth behind Jason Blossom’s death, another shocking blow came in the finale’s last moments, when Fred Andrews (Luke Perry) was gunned down during a robbery at Pop's Chock'lit Shoppe as son Archie (KJ Apa) helplessly tried to intervene.
ET hopped on the phone with Riverdale executive producer Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, who stayed mum on Fred’s fate, but dished on how the shocking events of the finale -- which included intense family drama for Betty (Lili Reinhart), Veronica (Camila Mendes) and Jughead (Cole Sprouse), as well -- will affect each character as Riverdale looks ahead to its second season.
ET: After revealing Jason’s killer in last week’s penultimate episode, the finale was tasked with tying up the loose ends, but also setting us up for season two. Can you talk to me a little bit about planning this first season and where you hoped to be in the finale?
Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa: The big question, of course, of the season was, who killed Jason Blossom? When we made the decision to answer that in the penultimate, I think it put an extra burden on the finale, because it was like, you know, you can’t have a finale that’s just tying up loose ends. There has to be a new story, and in a way, no matter what, it has to sort of be bigger than the penultimate episode, which was pretty big. We really wanted to bring all of our characters kind of to a head, and develop the relationships that we’ve built up over the season, and push them even further.
The biggest thing, probably, is where Archie ends up. About halfway through the finale, he’s in a really good place. He’s saying to Veronica, “I want to be for you what Jughead is for Betty,” and he finally fulfills his destiny as a hero and saves Cheryl Blossom (Madelaine Petsch)… and his friendships with Betty and Jughead are in a good place. He’s sort of made his peace with everything, [and then] he walks into the bathroom at Pop’s, but when he comes back out, his world is completely shattered, because he sees his greatest fear literally happen before his eyes, which is his beloved father is gunned down in front of him.
That puts Archie in a very different place for season two. The way we’re thinking of what happens in Pop’s in the last moments of the finale is really the equivalent of Bruce Wayne seeing his parents gunned down in Crime Alley, or Peter Parker learning that his beloved Uncle Ben was shot by a robber. That really set those two characters on their hero’s journey. For Archie, he is the hero of our show, but before he gets to that heroic journey, it’s going to be a journey more of revenge, and a journey of darkness and violence begetting violence. So it’s going to be a really different Archie for season two. That’s really exciting. So that was something that we wanted to [do], to get Archie to that place, of course at a terrible cost.
The CW
LAST WEEK: 'Riverdale' Boss Reveals Why [SPOILER] Killed Jason Blossom and Talks That Crazy Incest Twist!
Will the identity of Fred’s shooter be the overarching mystery of season two?
The mystery that launches season two is absolutely who shot Fred Andrews, and why? Much like Jason, we’re going to learn that there are a lot of possible -- and not only possible, but likely -- suspects amongst our town… Much as the murder of Jason revealed a lot of the dark, gothic underpinnings of Riverdale, the same will be true of the person who shot Fred. That investigation is just going to lead into even darker waters.
Jughead’s voiceover at the end hints that Fred getting shot was no accident. Is there anything to the theory that this might have been orchestrated by the Lodges, who were trying to force him out of the construction business?
I think there’s definitely a lot to that theory… Hermione (Marisol Nichols) says to Veronica, very clearly, if Fred doesn’t sell, it’s going to be really bad for him. And the next thing we see is Fred getting shot. I think that’s one of the first, most likely suspects in my mind.
The CW
And we’ll see even more of that family’s inner workings in season two, with the onscreen introduction of Hiram Lodge (the newly cast Mark Consuelos). What’s to come for Veronica and her parents?
In the finale, we see [Veronica] drawing a line with Hermione, you know, she calls her mother “Lady Macbeth.” So the idea is, is it going to be Veronica against both of her parents next season? One of the classic dynamics from the comic books is that Veronica’s father, Hiram Lodge, has historically always hated Archie… With Veronica getting in deeper with Archie, and her father’s arrival imminent, I think we’re gonna both honor that classic trope, and then subvert it as well. I think that’s where a lot of Veronica’s conflict is going to reside in season two.
RELATED: Mark Consuelos Joins Season 2 of 'Riverdale' as Veronica's Father
It was a little worrisome to see Jughead ultimately embracing his father’s legacy, the Southside Serpents, both for Betty and the viewers. Is he going to be headed down a dark path next season?
You know, we love our homages on Riverdale, and the last beat for us is kind of like that moment at the end of the first Godfather movie, when Diane Keaton is looking at Michael Corleone, Al Pacino, in his study, being surrounded by his mafia family and they’re all there kissing the ring. For us, Betty being on the inside of the trailer, seeing Jughead put on that Serpents jacket, is sort of the same moment.
I think in season two, Betty and Jughead’s story is going to be Jughead sort of following in his father’s footsteps and perhaps distancing himself from Betty, and Betty struggling to hold on to Jughead. Betty [also has] her own dark side, which the Serpents sort of speak to, but it’s sort of the double life of Jughead: the life with his friends and with Betty, and then the darker side, which is being part of this gang, like his father. So that’s really going to be their central conflict.
The CW
Riverdale’s core foursome are very clearly coupled up by season’s end -- Jughead and Betty say “I love you,” and Archie and Veronica make things official -- but it seemed like there were some hints that Archie’s also feeling something for Betty. Will we see that play out more in season two?
Yeah, I think the love triangle, whether we’re playing it directly, or it’s just bubbling underneath, it’s always sort of a part of the show… In the second episode, Archie says to Veronica that, when they were little kids, Archie had said to Betty that they were going to get married when they were 18. And I think that conversation with Betty in The Blue and Gold sort of speaks to that. In a way, it hearkens back to simpler times, when it was just Archie and Betty… it’s sort of this goodbye to that time, and now, she’s with Jughead and he’s with Veronica. There’s a little bit of nostalgia in that scene.
The CW
I think he does really have strong feelings for Veronica, and Betty obviously has strong feelings for Jughead -- she loves him, she says -- but you know, there’s always something about your first crush, I think. There’s always a little part of your brain that imagines what could have been. I think that’s what that scene is about.
Betty’s family drama also came to a head in the finale, when her mother (Mädchen Amick) revealed that she gave a son up for adoption in high school. Are we ever going to meet Big Brother Cooper? What’s to come for that family?
For me, the big Coopers’ story of the series is family; their ancestors, being a perfect family, owning all of their flaws, and things like that. We really learned a lot about the Coopers through Polly (Tiera Skovbye) in season one. And I think in season two, you know, when you say there’s a secret, mystery brother out there, I think eventually you have to pay that off... I think he’s going to be a very different character than Polly, but again, it’s going to kind of put the Cooper family unit under the microscope and really yet again test it. That’s what I think that story and that family is about, truth-telling and secrets.
The CW
RELATED: 6 Reasons Why 'Riverdale' Is the New Teen Drama We've Been Waiting For
Another family that was forced to deal with the consequences of secrets this season was the Blossoms, as it was discovered that Jason’s death came at the hands of his drug-smuggling father. After that revelation, Cheryl went off the rails a little, attempting to drown herself in Sweetwater River, and ultimately, setting the family’s mansion ablaze. What’s next for her?
Cheryl was sort of baptized in the river of ice, and then, like the phoenix, stepped out of the flames, reborn into something even scarier, perhaps, than she was in season one. She has even less to lose, and [by setting the house on fire] she sort of burnt the rot that has infested the Blossom family for generations. She sort of expiated that.
For [Cheryl in season two], a big thing is, it’s just her and Penelope (Nathalie Boltt) now. And Penelope was quite cruel to Cheryl in season one, and she really did have Cheryl under her thumb. I think what we’re going to see in season two is that that power dynamic has shifted, and really, it’s these two formidable, unbalanced women, locked in a no-holds-barred power struggle.
The CW
Have you started planning any season two storylines yet? Any hints of what’s to come?
In the finale, Betty alludes to it with Jughead. She says, “I don’t want to let the civil war rip us apart.” I can tell you that there’s a civil war brewing between the north side of Riverdale and the south side. That’s something that will really be playing out and complicating our characters’ lives throughout the season.
Riverdale will for return for season two on The CW.
EXCLUSIVE: Molly Ringwald on Playing Archie's Mom on 'Riverdale,' What Advice She Gives Her Young Co-Stars
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Forgotten Words
year ago I had a story to tell but I didn’t want anyone to hear it. why would I? it was my story. well it was his story too but I don’t think it was his to tell either.
My world came crashing down during a time of late night dancing, playful flirting, starry eyes and him. he was the focus of my life the day I met him. scary to think now. that he had that much impact on me then. scarier to think that my current significant other had a bigger reaction than him.
besides the point.
it started with swing dancing, two stepping and strangers. curly top head, long and flexible arms wrapped around my waist. i will never forget that night. when i met him. i had no idea what was going to happen. we exchanged numbers that night, after hours of dancing with each other. there was something magnetic about him, something that drew me in like a trap but i was too dazzled to know what could happen. we continued on this, meeting every Sunday for weeks. dancing, laughing, car rides to my door with all the windows down and impulsivity flying from my presence. he dropped me off at my dorm one night, and i played the smooth move of dropping my key card in his car. i kissed him then. it wasn’t great to be honest but he was fresh and inviting and something was different.
we continued down this path for months. staying at his house, him meeting my friends, family and building a future together. pictures of houses, preferences on color palates, where we would go on our honeymoon. the works. I was so crazy about this man that i was blind. there were always these signs, these things that would bring my attention or the hairs on my arms would raise straight up. he would assure me that it was nothing. she was nothing. we were everything.
one day i was on his facebook, she had posted something on there about couples. I grew enraged. that’s putting it nicely.
i called him, freaking out. her reassured me once again that she was obsessive and crazy and everything i wanted to hear.
then, one day around 9 months into this relationship, I was looking for a q-tip in the bathroom. when really he had turned me into an OCD-freak about water spots on the sink. no matter what, i always had to make sure the water was wiped off so that the water wouldn’t create marks on the hardware. when i was over, while brushing my teeth, there were water spots that were not mine. he never used my side of the bathroom so i knew that wasn’t the case. this is when i knew something was really up. he started taking his phone places, he changed the lock and was acting super shady. so he went to work one morning, opening a coffee shop on a cold saturday morning.
leaving me to leave the house and lock it all up. silly boy. this is when i started looking. there were make-up wipes in the trash, not mine...i wasnt supposed to wear make-up over because it could get on the pillows...so i continued my search. i looked in every drawer, every cabinet everywhere. then i found the clothes that were not mine. they were hers. I texted him saying i needed a q-tip because they were in the same drawer. this is when he responded and told me where they were and then continued with work.
i messaged her on facebook. i wanted to know. are you together i asked her. she said yes and that she would really appreciate if i would back off. i told her i didnt know. she didnt believe me. i then got a call from him yelling at me for making her ideas worse and recognizing them. so this is where i stewed. i sat there and after he was done getting mad at me i messaged her back. i asked her not to say anything to him because i had things to say to her. so she listened. i told her of us, of our mornings in bed while it rained outside, coffee dates multiple times a day, physiology labs and all of our plans.
she told me i was lying.
i sent her screenshots. she knew i wasnt lying then.
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Chapter 1: The beggining
1.
I remember the orange sunset on my tanned skin, the warm breeze making the crops slow dance, the freshness of a sweet air filling my lungs. It was a calm afternoon, it was the beginning of an ending, and yet I was slowly walking through the crops, feeling them on the palm of my hand as if in few minutes my whole life wouldn't dramatically change forever.
I was at my sanctuary, the only place I felt at peace and myself, far away from the overprotectiveness of my mother. In between the crops I felt as if I could finally reveal my true self, far away from all the expectations of others, but especially from her. I knew I wasn't this person, but I didn't know who I was. My life felt off, as if the story was the wrong one, as if there had been a mistake. Deep down I always felt like I was meant to be someone else, someone with a bigger purpose. But here I was, feeling useless and lost, walking without a purpose, until I heard a sound.
My body froze, my hands became cold as ice, nobody could have been here with me. The sun had turned into this blood red color that was rapidly disappearing from the field. Everything inside of me was yelling at be to run as fast as I can. The crops started to move, I was hearing footsteps coming towards me. I started to run away from the path I should be getting home to, away from the footsteps coming to my way. I was running with all the force and breath I had, but somehow it wasn't enough, I was still being chased. The moment I glimpsed over my shoulder, I tripped over my long white silk dress and everything went dark.
2.
When thinking about my life, it feels more like a blurry dream than a life. Maybe my awareness disappeared with my numbness I had about everything happening around me. Fighting became worthless the moment I understood it wasn't going to change anything. I was a pawn under the control of the ones with power, but mostly my mother, Demeter.
I love and admire her with all my heart, but our personalities and the way we see life and how to live it are so different that we can never get along. She's the most powerful women I know and I will always admire her for it, but after my dad and her separated, I felt as if she focused all her energy towards me, when all I ever wanted was to become this free spirited person I knew I was deep inside. A lot was expected of her, she needed to be viewed in a certain way that also affected me. I was a part of a world I didn't want to get involved in. The way I had to dress, the way I had to act, the things I shouldn't do nor say. At some point I was drowning in secrets I had to keep to myself. And I think I was cursed by the weight of secrets from an early age. My father, had never been around much, making appearances from time to time, Although I always had this powerful love for him. Everyone loved and also feared Zeus.
But my fears were different ones, a part of me always feared of being forgotten and not being loved by him. And with time, our fragile relationship grew further and further away. Both of my parents are complete opposites. The relationship I have with them is also very different. When I think about it, fate might have given me the challenge of dealing with opposites althrought my existence. But honestly, I'm exhausted from always being the one stuck in the middle, the one that always tries to figure out the truth when being thrown many different versions of reality. My energy is drained from trying to keep a feet on each world of both of my parents as equally as possible. And yet, this was only the begging of my fate. A fate that was neither a gift nor a curse.
My life's challenge of always being as diplomatic as possible by staying in the middle ground and by equally visiting very separate worlds was decided without my free will. This is the reason I believe we have no say when it comes to our fate. Which was clearly designed for us to pass a challenge in which all the circumstances of our lives will allure us to the completeness of this main lesson. My life's lesson that I had no choice over was to learn to deal with polar opposites of every circumstance. To learn how to deal with two very different worlds. And I had no other choice but to accept this fate.
3.
I opened my eyes to a stabbing pain inside my head. The air was humid and cold. My whole body was shivering from the mixture of shock and cold. The room was like a cave because of the texture of walls. I gathered all my force in order to stand up but was brutally stabbed to the ground by chains over my waist which were attached to the walk behind me. My breaths grew stronger and faster which were making the chains hurt me more. I wasn't aware this much fear and panic was even possible to feel and I was even less sure if my heart would continue beating after all this panic rushing through me. I finally managed to shout for help, wishing someone could come and release me from this hell.
The door opened brutally:
"I was wondering when you would wake up." appeared a dark deep voice through the shadows.
"Who are you? Where am I? " I was surprised by how calm and determined my voice was coming out of my mouth.
"I'm Hades and you are in the underworld." said very stoically
I knew exactly who he was and apparently my family life was even more complicated than I thought it was. I've heard of Hades before, one of my father's brothers, but I have never met him until now.
How strange is it all of the masks we put in order to hide all the emotions happening inside of us. Showing any kind of emotion is always linked to being weak. But maybe not being able to show emotion is the real weakness. Maybe hiding behind a pretend mask is the real weakness. But at this point, I didn't have any other choice but to pretend, I had to pretend to be strong until I eventually did become one.
"Why am I here?" I continued
"You tripped and fell at the field of crops. I took you to my world. A change of scenery never hurts anyone."
"But chains do hurt. Unchain me! I want to leave now!"
"Fearless I like it." lightly smiled then continued:
"A please would be nice. I suggest you try it again but nicely next time." Hades then swiftly left the room shutting the door behind him.
I was once again left alone with millions of burning questions inside my head.
4.
The moment I realized I was taken captive by Hades, my anxiety did calm down a little. At least I knew where I was and I was also sure people were going to look for me. I knew my mother was going to tear the world apart until she found me. But until then, I was all by myself. The best chance I had was to play along with Hades and to buy myself some time. Once I became calmer, I looked at the chains around my waist, after carefully examining them, I realized the chains were not locked to the wall. And I easily managed to unchain myself with my hands. Why did he purposely forget to lock the chains? Was the door really locked? I began to walk towards the door and hopelessly tried to turn the knob. The door did open, But I couldn't help myself from wondering: Was he watching me? What was his plan?
Adrenaline rushed once again through my whole body. This room somehow seemed safer than the unknown underworld out there. I also knew I couldn't escape from the underworld so easily. Trying seemed worthless. I wish I had a bit of courage in me, but I didn't. I closed the door without fully opening it and went back to where I was sitting before.
The truth is, I always overthinking every circumstance of any action before doing it. This makes it impossible to go through with anything. One simple action had the possibly of causing so many outcomes, and in this case, all the outcomes did end up pretty badly.
After a while, Hades did show up again. But this time he was accompanied by a hound that was scarier than him. After carefully observing, he began to speak "Don't you want to come out? You are missing out on a whole other world." said amusingly
"I want you to take me back. I don't belong here."
"How can you know where you belong without even experiencing it first? You should give it a chance. You might be surprised."
"Is he going to hurt me?" I said looking at the hound.
"Maybe the question should be, am I going to hurt you?"
"You would have hurt me by now if you wanted to."
"Touché." smiled Hades
"Why am I really here?"
He examined me once more. I wasn't sure if he was thinking of an answer or if he was trying to read me. Keeping a courageous act was draining all the energy out of me. And I didn't know how long I could keep up with him.
"Come with me" finally said Hades opening the door for me to follow him.
5.
Here I was stepping into unknown grounds. A world I never thought I would see. I was mesmerized by how every inch of this place was decorated with silvers and golds while precious stones were keeping them company. The most dominant color was shades of purple and blue. I couldn't help myself from not showing how surprised I was in front of this view.
"The purple you see is created from a stone called amethyst. I find something mysteriously attractive about this stone. The color of purple symbolizes a very powerful energy. However every shade of blue you see is caused by stones such as apatites, azurites and diamonds."
"Why is there so many of them?"
"We are under the world Persephone...It's where stones and minerals are."
"Where is all the fire and torture happening then?" I asked
"Above ground." replied Hades with his famous smile.
Maybe this was the reason why he rarely visited my world. Not because he wasn't allowed, but because he didn't want to. The job of gods and goddess above earth is to assure everything works smoothy so that the living can continue to exist. But humans never get satisfied by anything. Humans always want more, when they do finally get something they want, the pleasure disappears in few days and the never ending cycle of always wanting something they don't have continues. Dooming the human kind for a lifetime of suffering.
Above ground, I've seen countless wars, deaths, and never ending sufferings. And the worst part is everything happens for no evident reason nor a good cause. The reason behind all kinds of quarrels is caused by human greed. And greed is a sickness that cannot be healed.
I did see love and kindness above ground but they always ended with some kind of jealousy or disappointment. Hearts getting broken because of loving too much or not enough. Humans don't know the definition of balance, everything is either too much or not enough. They do not know how to stay in the middle ground and this human condition has no remedy. Secretly, I always preferred any other living species than the human kind. Plants, animals and even bacterias were better than humans. Maybe the world would have been a much better place with only plants and animals living on it.
"Are you going to take me back?" I asked
"I'm sensing you are in desperate need to take a vacation. You are too tense for your young age. And I am feeling very generous today. Stay here, be my guest, you can do whatever you want here. You are free as long as you don't leave."
Nothing was making sense but I was curious, so I proceeded: "What is there to do in here anyway?"
"I don't know, try walking on sunshine."
"But there is no Sun."
"Right, we obviously don't have the same definition of Sun. Just pretend that the lava is the sun. I'm sure you'll enjoy it in any case."
"Are you being serious right now?"
"You will have to discover this by yourself." replied Hades, and he continued giving me the tour of the underworld without leaving me the chance to ask any further questions.
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EXCLUSIVE: 'Riverdale' Boss Reveals Why Was Shot in the Finale and Everything to Expect in Season 2!
Warning: Spoiler alert! Do not proceed if you haven’t watched Thursday’s season one finale of Riverdale!
Riverdale ended its first season with a bang on Thursday! Just as the town was unraveling the truth behind Jason Blossom’s death, another shocking blow came in the finale’s last moments, when Fred Andrews (Luke Perry) was gunned down during a robbery at Pop's Chock'lit Shoppe as son Archie (KJ Apa) helplessly tried to intervene.
ET hopped on the phone with Riverdale executive producer Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, who stayed mum on Fred’s fate, but dished on how the shocking events of the finale -- which included intense family drama for Betty (Lili Reinhart), Veronica (Camila Mendes) and Jughead (Cole Sprouse), as well -- will affect each character as Riverdale looks ahead to its second season.
ET: After revealing Jason’s killer in last week’s penultimate episode, the finale was tasked with tying up the loose ends, but also setting us up for season two. Can you talk to me a little bit about planning this first season and where you hoped to be in the finale?
Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa: The big question, of course, of the season was, who killed Jason Blossom? When we made the decision to answer that in the penultimate, I think it put an extra burden on the finale, because it was like, you know, you can’t have a finale that’s just tying up loose ends. There has to be a new story, and in a way, no matter what, it has to sort of be bigger than the penultimate episode, which was pretty big. We really wanted to bring all of our characters kind of to a head, and develop the relationships that we’ve built up over the season, and push them even further.
The biggest thing, probably, is where Archie ends up. About halfway through the finale, he’s in a really good place. He’s saying to Veronica, “I want to be for you what Jughead is for Betty,” and he finally fulfills his destiny as a hero and saves Cheryl Blossom (Madelaine Petsch)… and his friendships with Betty and Jughead are in a good place. He’s sort of made his peace with everything, [and then] he walks into the bathroom at Pop’s, but when he comes back out, his world is completely shattered, because he sees his greatest fear literally happen before his eyes, which is his beloved father is gunned down in front of him.
That puts Archie in a very different place for season two. The way we’re thinking of what happens in Pop’s in the last moments of the finale is really the equivalent of Bruce Wayne seeing his parents gunned down in Crime Alley, or Peter Parker learning that his beloved Uncle Ben was shot by a robber. That really set those two characters on their hero’s journey. For Archie, he is the hero of our show, but before he gets to that heroic journey, it’s going to be a journey more of revenge, and a journey of darkness and violence begetting violence. So it’s going to be a really different Archie for season two. That’s really exciting. So that was something that we wanted to [do], to get Archie to that place, of course at a terrible cost.
The CW
LAST WEEK: 'Riverdale' Boss Reveals Why [SPOILER] Killed Jason Blossom and Talks That Crazy Incest Twist!
Will the identity of Fred’s shooter be the overarching mystery of season two?
The mystery that launches season two is absolutely who shot Fred Andrews, and why? Much like Jason, we’re going to learn that there are a lot of possible -- and not only possible, but likely -- suspects amongst our town… Much as the murder of Jason revealed a lot of the dark, gothic underpinnings of Riverdale, the same will be true of the person who shot Fred. That investigation is just going to lead into even darker waters.
Jughead’s voiceover at the end hints that Fred getting shot was no accident. Is there anything to the theory that this might have been orchestrated by the Lodges, who were trying to force him out of the construction business?
I think there’s definitely a lot to that theory… Hermione (Marisol Nichols) says to Veronica, very clearly, if Fred doesn’t sell, it’s going to be really bad for him. And the next thing we see is Fred getting shot. I think that’s one of the first, most likely suspects in my mind.
The CW
And we’ll see even more of that family’s inner workings in season two, with the onscreen introduction of Hiram Lodge (the newly cast Mark Consuelos). What’s to come for Veronica and her parents?
In the finale, we see [Veronica] drawing a line with Hermione, you know, she calls her mother “Lady Macbeth.” So the idea is, is it going to be Veronica against both of her parents next season? One of the classic dynamics from the comic books is that Veronica’s father, Hiram Lodge, has historically always hated Archie… With Veronica getting in deeper with Archie, and her father’s arrival imminent, I think we’re gonna both honor that classic trope, and then subvert it as well. I think that’s where a lot of Veronica’s conflict is going to reside in season two.
RELATED: Mark Consuelos Joins Season 2 of 'Riverdale' as Veronica's Father
It was a little worrisome to see Jughead ultimately embracing his father’s legacy, the Southside Serpents, both for Betty and the viewers. Is he going to be headed down a dark path next season?
You know, we love our homages on Riverdale, and the last beat for us is kind of like that moment at the end of the first Godfather movie, when Diane Keaton is looking at Michael Corleone, Al Pacino, in his study, being surrounded by his mafia family and they’re all there kissing the ring. For us, Betty being on the inside of the trailer, seeing Jughead put on that Serpents jacket, is sort of the same moment.
I think in season two, Betty and Jughead’s story is going to be Jughead sort of following in his father’s footsteps and perhaps distancing himself from Betty, and Betty struggling to hold on to Jughead. Betty [also has] her own dark side, which the Serpents sort of speak to, but it’s sort of the double life of Jughead: the life with his friends and with Betty, and then the darker side, which is being part of this gang, like his father. So that’s really going to be their central conflict.
The CW
Riverdale’s core foursome are very clearly coupled up by season’s end -- Jughead and Betty say “I love you,” and Archie and Veronica make things official -- but it seemed like there were some hints that Archie’s also feeling something for Betty. Will we see that play out more in season two?
Yeah, I think the love triangle, whether we’re playing it directly, or it’s just bubbling underneath, it’s always sort of a part of the show… In the second episode, Archie says to Veronica that, when they were little kids, Archie had said to Betty that they were going to get married when they were 18. And I think that conversation with Betty in The Blue and Gold sort of speaks to that. In a way, it hearkens back to simpler times, when it was just Archie and Betty… it’s sort of this goodbye to that time, and now, she’s with Jughead and he’s with Veronica. There’s a little bit of nostalgia in that scene.
The CW
I think he does really have strong feelings for Veronica, and Betty obviously has strong feelings for Jughead -- she loves him, she says -- but you know, there’s always something about your first crush, I think. There’s always a little part of your brain that imagines what could have been. I think that’s what that scene is about.
Betty’s family drama also came to a head in the finale, when her mother (Mädchen Amick) revealed that she gave a son up for adoption in high school. Are we ever going to meet Big Brother Cooper? What’s to come for that family?
For me, the big Coopers’ story of the series is family; their ancestors, being a perfect family, owning all of their flaws, and things like that. We really learned a lot about the Coopers through Polly (Tiera Skovbye) in season one. And I think in season two, you know, when you say there’s a secret, mystery brother out there, I think eventually you have to pay that off... I think he’s going to be a very different character than Polly, but again, it’s going to kind of put the Cooper family unit under the microscope and really yet again test it. That’s what I think that story and that family is about, truth-telling and secrets.
The CW
RELATED: 6 Reasons Why 'Riverdale' Is the New Teen Drama We've Been Waiting For
Another family that was forced to deal with the consequences of secrets this season was the Blossoms, as it was discovered that Jason’s death came at the hands of his drug-smuggling father. After that revelation, Cheryl went off the rails a little, attempting to drown herself in Sweetwater River, and ultimately, setting the family’s mansion ablaze. What’s next for her?
Cheryl was sort of baptized in the river of ice, and then, like the phoenix, stepped out of the flames, reborn into something even scarier, perhaps, than she was in season one. She has even less to lose, and [by setting the house on fire] she sort of burnt the rot that has infested the Blossom family for generations. She sort of expiated that.
For [Cheryl in season two], a big thing is, it’s just her and Penelope (Nathalie Boltt) now. And Penelope was quite cruel to Cheryl in season one, and she really did have Cheryl under her thumb. I think what we’re going to see in season two is that that power dynamic has shifted, and really, it’s these two formidable, unbalanced women, locked in a no-holds-barred power struggle.
The CW
Have you started planning any season two storylines yet? Any hints of what’s to come?
In the finale, Betty alludes to it with Jughead. She says, “I don’t want to let the civil war rip us apart.” I can tell you that there’s a civil war brewing between the north side of Riverdale and the south side. That’s something that will really be playing out and complicating our characters’ lives throughout the season.
Riverdale will for return for season two on The CW.
EXCLUSIVE: Molly Ringwald on Playing Archie's Mom on 'Riverdale,' What Advice She Gives Her Young Co-Stars
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